dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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