Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize