Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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