Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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