i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
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I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
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I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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