Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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