So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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