You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize