even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
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We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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