Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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