bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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