i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize