Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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