I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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