it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize