So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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