Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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