the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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