Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
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