remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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