He asked to "fluff my boner.."
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
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I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize