shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize