I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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