I must be too annoying 4 u.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize