Its about making memories worth repressing
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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