if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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