If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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