Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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