you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize