I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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