we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize