Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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