You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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