i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
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ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
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I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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