Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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