so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
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So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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