WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
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My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
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He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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