Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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