Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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