Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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