After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize