Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Tell her she's as useless as a condom.

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  (770): Tell her she's as useless as a condom. http://tfl.nu/5gza
  Replies (37) Good night (941) Bad night (2387) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?

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  (440): Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it? (1-440): because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even? http://tfl.nu/6ni1
  Replies (20) Good night (5201) Bad night (423)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.

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  (484): drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart. http://tfl.nu/h0kh
  Replies (14) Good night (1016) Bad night (2690) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care

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  (201): he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care http://tfl.nu/es4g
  Replies (14) Good night (1294) Bad night (3844) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Sober January is a disaster.

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  (917): Sober January is a disaster. http://tfl.nu/b9eq
  Replies (6) Good night (1294) Bad night (3160) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.

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  (570): i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off. http://tfl.nu/1gub
  Replies (56) Good night (591) Bad night (5578) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats

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  (267): your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats http://tfl.nu/u2vh
  Replies (10) Good night (4259) Bad night (1128) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?

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  (901): hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn? http://tfl.nu/pzvd
  Replies (13) Good night (2899) Bad night (1156) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.

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  (860): I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name. http://tfl.nu/83o9
  Replies (22) Good night (5427) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.

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  (724): He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever. http://tfl.nu/8ol6
  Replies (6) Good night (3282) Bad night (604) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.

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  (517): Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned. http://tfl.nu/fz01
  Replies (5) Good night (1651) Bad night (633) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome

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  (317): The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome http://tfl.nu/7akx
  Replies (4) Good night (2057) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse

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  (+61): Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse http://tfl.nu/nf0w
  Replies (3) Good night (1186) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?

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  (541): How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight? http://tfl.nu/vr15
  Replies (10) Good night (724) Bad night (392) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs

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  (269): You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs http://tfl.nu/fy9x
  Replies (5) Good night (679) Bad night (192) Order T-Shirt

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