He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize