PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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