Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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