Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
where are you?
Hypothermia
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize