i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
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i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
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Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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