finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize