He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize