The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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