I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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